Water, water everywhere...

Tierce: Out?

Me: Mmmf.

Tierce: I wanna go out.

Me: MMrrrf.

Tierce: OWWWWUUUTTT?

Me: NNNGH.

Tierce: AAAAAOOOOOOWWWWWWOOOOOUUUUTTTT?

Me: MRRNNNGGHstupidfuckingdog,hateyou,stupid,owmytoe,yesi'mtakingyou

Tierce: OOWWWAAAAHHHHHOOOOOOOUUUUUUTTTT?

Me: Shut UP! I'm taking you out!

Tierce: *leap*

Door: *BANG!*

Me: SHUT UP! JUST SHUT UP! I'M COMING DOWN IN A SECOND.

Tierce: Ooowwwuuut. *thump, thump, thumpthumpthump* Hi!

Me: Go away; I'm just finding my boots.

Tierce: Yay! Thumpthumpthumpthumpthumpthud

Door: *BANG!*

Mischa: Gnnnrrrrrnnnngh.

Me: Yeah, yeah yeah.

Tierce: Are you coming down so we can go awwaaahhoooooouuuuttttt?

Me: Ew, it's raining outside. And cold.

Tierce: It's OUTSIDE!

Me: Come here so I can put the leash on.

Tierce: Aww.

Me: Tierce...

Tierce: Okay, okay, okay.

Me: Okay, let's go. Ugh, it's pouring!

Tierce: Hey, I haven't sniffed that bush in, like, forever!

Me: This Flexi only goes out to 20 fee-

Tierce: Grrk!

Me: Control yourself.

Tierce: Whatever *pee*

Me: Okay, let's trudge to the park.

Tierce: Yay! Oh, that poodle from down the street was here earlier! And those little mop dogs from across the way! *pee*

Me: Yeah, yeah. Hurry up. I want you to do all your business so that we don't have to go out again for a long, long, LONG time.

Tierce: Ooo! Someone left a pizza crust in the storm drain!

Me: It probably came in with the flood that is now threatening to overflow my boots. Leave it alone.

Tierce: But, it has cheese-

Me: Leave. It. Alone.

Tierce: All you give me is that crappy allergy food. *pee*

Me: You like that crappy allergy food.

Tierce: Yeah and you eat the same thing for every meal. Oh, wait, no. *pee*

Me: Your life is a tale of woe. Now go take a crap.

Tierce: ...I don't want to go here.

Me: Find a place. How about here? You like unmowed grass.

Tierce: It's not the right place.

Me: Well, here's a nice place.

Tierce: It's too wet.

Me: Here?

Tierce: It's too familiar.

Me: You like open grass, don't you?

Tierce: No, but there's something yummy smelling around here...

Me: FORGET it! Attend to your BUSINESS. And by business, I mean TAKE A SHIT. NOW!

Tierce: I don't feel like it.

Me: You little-

Tierce: Hey, the more you stress me out, the less likely it is that I'll perform.

Me: -sweet, wonderful dog who I am going to strangle if you'll only come over here, my love.

Tierce: Hey, I want to go over here!

Me: Sure, do you think you're going to go?

Tierce: I think so, I think I feel something-

Me: Well?

Tierce: Nothing. It wasn't the right time.

Me: Would a massage help? I've got a couple of boots on that I'll gladly plant in that region should you need help moving things along.

Tierce: That won't be necessary. Let's try over here.

Me: We've been out here for the last twenty minutes. My jacket is almost soaked through and you're looking like the little rat that you are. What the hell are you trying to accomplish?

Tierce: Hey, you're the one dragging me hither and yon. If you let me off, I could be done this in thirty seconds. I just have to find the right spot.

Me: You can find the right spot with the leash on.

Tierce: Your call. Hey, lookitthatbirdoooiwannachasethatbirdoit'sflyingaway...

Me: No! Let's go over here.

Tierce: Meh. That spot has been so *done*.

Me: *Please* take a goddamned crap, Tierce, so I can go back inside and go back to bed. Please. I'm begging you.

Tierce: There is a time for all things under Heaven...

Me: I hate you. I'm wet and I'm cold and I'm standing here in a perfectly good vacant lot because you won't take a crap and I hate you.

Tierce: It sucks, doesn't it. My life has so few pleasures and this is one I'm loathe to part with.

Me: I'm going to have you neutered.

Tierce: So what? You were going to have it done anyway.

Me: Just GO.

Tierce: Yeah, at some point. I'm still finding out who was here last Saturday afternoon.

Me: FINE. I have HAD it. We're going home! Let's GO.

Tierce: Wait! I haven't figured out if this dog lives around here or no-

Me: LET'S GO.

Tierce: Well, fine. You don't have to be so BRUTAL about it.

Me: Cry me a fucking river of diarrhea.

Tierce: Speaking of that...

Me: What?

Tierce: Hold on a minute.

Me: We're halfway home! I'm not stoppin- oh.

Tierce: Well, that was a relief.

Me: You couldn't have done this back at the lot? Where there was a garbage can right there?

Tierce: I always wondered why you want to bag and save that stuff, considering the fuss you made when I pooped in the house that one time.

Me: I don't want to save it, I want to throw it away! Which is why I like to have a garbage can close at hand!

Tierce: You humans are weird. You go off your rocker if I pee in the house, but you collect feces in bins instead of leaving them out to announce our territory and just disintegrate in the rain. On that note, you hate the rain and don't like getting up early in the morning, but you would rather drag me around for half an hour than let me run around free outside to do my business. You're nuts.

Me: What makes me nuts is my deliberate acquisition of YOU. You're living proof that there's a God and there's some sins I haven't atoned for yet.

Call for Help from the Shibasphere

I got this email a few days ago and, while you'll see my deathless wisdom *pause for laughter* below, I'm thinking that the people who read this blog might have some good advice to offer Jessica:

I hope you don't mind if I ask your advice/opinion on my Shiba....

I adopted him from a dog rescue in June. The vet estimates that he is around 5 years old. Some problems have surfaced since he came to live with us. First, he is the only dog I have ever met that has absolutely no problem sleeping in a pool of his own piss in his crate. He doesn't mind going in at all. I shut the door. He looks up at me with an expressionless face, squats, and pees the most ridiculous river of urine imaginable, not once breaking eye contact with me. At first I thought "Hmn, maybe he's doing this because he knows I am going to let him out so i can clean it up" and that this was just a plea for attention.... But lo and behold, whether I clean it or let him stew in it, he never fails to leave a pee puddle in his kennel. His crate is the perfect size for him- just enough room to lay, turn, stand, etc. I've tried plastic crates and I've tried wire crates... I've tried lots of bedding and no bedding at all. He goes outside before and after crating (where he finds a spot to lay down like a goat and stare at me blankly). So he gets ample opportunity to pee outside.... He's been crated in my bedroom where he can see me, and he's been crated in the dog room, where the other dogs are crated. Location seems to make no difference. In fact, NOTHING seems to make a difference. I really feel like he holds it all day long, just waiting to piss in the crate.

So aside from the peeing, he constantly C-O-N-S-T-A-N-T-L-Y is pacing. Circles, circles, circles, allllllll day long. Will not sit still. Not even a little bit. My vet seems to think he has an anxiety problem. She's prescribed doggy-prozac for him. I'm still not sure how I feel about this. I thought the peeing and the pacing could maybe be a side effect of some kind of health problem but two vets later and full blood panels, he is in perfect health. There's nothing medically wrong with him that could be causing the urination in the crate.

He seems fearful of the most ridiculous things.... Little noises, movement, someone walking by him.... He's ran headfirst into walls trying to get out of the way of someone walking by him. He scrambles away like his tail is on fire if anything rubs him the wrong way.

And the strangest thing ever? I can take him to dog shows, pet conventions, noisy pet stores, and he LOVES IT. No anxiety. No pacing. Relaxed. Mellow. WTF??! Like a perfect angel. And everyone comments on how well-behaved and precious and stately he looks. And he just sits there with his little Shiba-smirk while they go on and on about how good a dog he is..... And then the minute we get home its RUN FOR YOUR LIFE -- SOMEONE'S GONNA EAT ME!!!!

I love this dog. He's hilarious, sweet, and endearing... But really... I do NOT understand where he comes up with this stuff... I've been a dog lover all my life... I've had jack russels, shih tzus, american bulldogs, springer spaniels, and I breed Miniature Pinschers (which up until now I thought were the most hard-to-decode dogs there were). This Shiba is the most quirky creature I've ever encountered. How much of this is normal?? Its really the peeing in the crate thing that baffles me more than anything.

So.. I hope you don't mind... But.... help?

And here's my reply:

"Wow... that's so unusual - normally a Shiba is fanatically clean! I've heard that some pet store pups have a similar problem, being literally forced to live in their waste. Puppymill dogs are also notoriously inbred/insane and you might be dealing with one. Your next step might best be to contact an animal behaviourist.

Do you mind if I post this on my Shibalog? Maybe some of the people who read it will have more insight into this."

Jessica's response was, obviously, yes, so here we are. Any thoughts?

We now have a jacket!

Shiba Jacket by Mountain Hardware

Lots o' Video

Take a look at N2Paws, featuring Tellington Touch, or TTouch, AND our favourite breed of dog!

And, of course, everyone's favourite puppies: the webcam Shiba sextet.

I've got to give their owners kudos for not trying to capitalize on the fame of their pups and for promoting responsible breeders and ownership. If you go to the webcam page, you can see their disclaimer:

For more information on the Shiba Inu go here - http://www.shibas.org/docs/Shiba_Brochure_color2.pdf

Please do NOT purchase pet store (puppy mill) puppies!
Do your research to locate reputable breeders in your area.

Likewise, do NOT buy puppies over the internet! No legitimate breeder will ever advertise puppies for sale on the internet. Don't be fooled by the misleading ads!

Another option would be to consider adopting a rescue Shiba
http://national.shibarescue.org/

After watching the horror story on CBC about puppy mills in Quebec, it's nice to know that there are people out there who are using cute puppies to promote a message of responsible dog ownership.

Just Look At My Dog!

This has been circulating the Internet for a while now (I have no clue who made it):


And here's one I made for Tierce:

Article about the Great Obama Dog Debate

The Internet Goes To The Dogs

Great quotes:

Still, you don’t need to have squandered two work weeks glued to the puppy cam — that insanely popular streaming Internet video that’s been focused on nothing more than a crate full of adorable Shiba Inu pups since this month began — to know that was some calculated speechifyin’ on the president-elect’s part.

...

It’s this allergy business that’s causing the — um — less professional of Internet animal advocates to fear the Obama family’s final choice. Sure the president-elect talks rescue, but then he uses his daughters as a caveat.

What if these allergy constraints of his daughter might cause him to waver — resulting in a canine flip-flop of national proportions? Because, let’s face it: crazy cat people get a bad rap, but crazy dog people are so much worse. Crazy dog people will cut you.

I know. I am one. And I have a knife. Generally, it’s used to chop fresh organic ingredients for meals served twice daily to my herd of rescue pugs, but I’m not above turning it on a backyard breeder … or animal-as-accessory maven Paris Hilton. Whatever.

I've just decided that Helen A.S. Popkin, the author of this piece, is teh awesumz.

Webcam Shibas taking online world by storm

For when you're sick of politics

I've been trying to find out the breeders and kennel name of these pups, but so far have had no luck... does anyone have a link to more information?

Bad owner! No biscuit for you!

I snapped, I'm sorry. I know that I've had a page all about Shibas and it's helped a lot of people and that some people consider me the living end of Shiba knowledge (I'm not! Try Shiba Inu Canada or the National Shiba Club of America). But I've proven myself to be a bad, evil dog owner and not deserving of the title Queen of Shiba.

I took Tierce to the groomer's to get his nails clipped.

Now I know that I should be stoic in the face of his whining, moaning, bitching and complaining, his earsplitting wails, and his sulky pulling away, but I'm not. I'm terrified of hurting him and he's terrified of me hurting him. It's safe to say that we both hate the procedure.

One day, a few days ago, I looked at his paws and they resembled a bear's, with nails out to ----- here and knew that I was just prolonging the inevitable.

Dog 'N Suds is a grooming/care facility not very far from where I live, so I slouched there to deliver my little brat. Tierce, of course, was extremely excited and interested, even in the trio of Dachshunds threatening to rip out his throat on his way in.

He behaved himself, at least, even when it was his turn. The groomer whipped him under her arm and carried him into the back with the ease of long practice. Two or three minutes later of whining, moaning, bitching and complaining, he was out, congratulating himself on his miraculous escape from death. It was the best 10 bucks I've ever spent.

No, seriously. Best. Ten. Dollars. Ever.

Even if it makes me a bad puppy owner who can't stand to clip my dog's nails, if there are competent people who will do it for a price. If there wasn't anybody, I could steel myself to do nails, but I've tasted the lack of stress and it is sweet! Now I know why Mom pays for Shassi to get groomed - it's just EASIER.

(Best part of all, Tierce is in the nail clipping program and it only costs $5 per visit!)

Vote no!

First pup choices: will the Goldendoodle win out?

I generally hesitate on 'designer dogs', because I think that the overwhelming majority of them are not bred for any other purpose than to produce puppies for profit. However, I disagree about the Shiba puppies that Samantha Beerman votes for (yeah, yeah, I know it's tongue-in-cheek).

Free Videos by Ustream.TV

Hey, I like more stuff about our breed as much as the next dog-obsessed fanatic, but the last thing I'd like is a Shiba in the Oval Office. All of a sudden, pet shops and backyard breeders would figure that they could cash in on the sudden popularity and bam! there goes the breed. Of course our dedicated breeders would keep on breeding and educating, but it's just something we so do not need.

One more reason you should make damn sure the fence is secure

Shiba scales vet's fence, gets hit by car

At least the owner is not vilifying the vet to the public. I think, though, that any business's kennels should have overhangs that prevent dogs from getting a purchase on the top.