Bad owner! No biscuit for you!

I snapped, I'm sorry. I know that I've had a page all about Shibas and it's helped a lot of people and that some people consider me the living end of Shiba knowledge (I'm not! Try Shiba Inu Canada or the National Shiba Club of America). But I've proven myself to be a bad, evil dog owner and not deserving of the title Queen of Shiba.

I took Tierce to the groomer's to get his nails clipped.

Now I know that I should be stoic in the face of his whining, moaning, bitching and complaining, his earsplitting wails, and his sulky pulling away, but I'm not. I'm terrified of hurting him and he's terrified of me hurting him. It's safe to say that we both hate the procedure.

One day, a few days ago, I looked at his paws and they resembled a bear's, with nails out to ----- here and knew that I was just prolonging the inevitable.

Dog 'N Suds is a grooming/care facility not very far from where I live, so I slouched there to deliver my little brat. Tierce, of course, was extremely excited and interested, even in the trio of Dachshunds threatening to rip out his throat on his way in.

He behaved himself, at least, even when it was his turn. The groomer whipped him under her arm and carried him into the back with the ease of long practice. Two or three minutes later of whining, moaning, bitching and complaining, he was out, congratulating himself on his miraculous escape from death. It was the best 10 bucks I've ever spent.

No, seriously. Best. Ten. Dollars. Ever.

Even if it makes me a bad puppy owner who can't stand to clip my dog's nails, if there are competent people who will do it for a price. If there wasn't anybody, I could steel myself to do nails, but I've tasted the lack of stress and it is sweet! Now I know why Mom pays for Shassi to get groomed - it's just EASIER.

(Best part of all, Tierce is in the nail clipping program and it only costs $5 per visit!)

Update!

Well, Tierce is much better on the Cyclosporine, although I'm not a fan of giving him a pill that requires an anti-nausea pill to keep it in him. Here he is next to one of many jellyfish that washed up on the shore beside Departure Bay Terminal (BC Ferries).

Shassi (forgot to get a picture tonight) is... a 15 year old dog. My aunt took her to one of the best vets in Nanaimo and got a complete blood panel done. Verdict: Shassi is in good shape for a 15 year old dog, but her kidneys are failing. Not entirely an unforeseen thing. Fortunately, my aunt is determined to take care of her and is feeding her the lowest-protein dog food that she can find.

Katana, the subject of my last post is, according to Petfinder, still looking for a home.

Bella, the Shiba missing since this April, is still at large.

Wow, lots of good news, huh? Well, I'm just glad that Tierce isn't scratching as much and he can stop wearing the cone most of the time!

Allergy central

Tierce went back to the vet's today to get his stitches out. His skin biopsies showed no sign of any disease or other problem and the "most likely cause of his itching is atopy or food allergies".

The vet advised a "hydrolyzed protein" diet. From what she told me, "hydrolyzed protein" means the protein breaks down into components too small for the body to form an allergic reaction to. This is the only thing Tierce can have. No treats, even his toys have to be put away. He can, however, have sticks to play with.

She wants me to keep Tierce on this diet for two months to rule out food allergies and I agreed, because nothing is working so far. However, I can't wait for two months to be over. The food looks like CORN POPS, for Dog's sake.

And just wait until you read what's in this stuff:

Starch, hydrolyzed soy protein isolate, coconut oil, calcium phosphate, canola oil preserved with TBHQ, powdered cellulose, corn oil, potassium chloride, vegetable gums (gum arabic, guar gum), choline chloride, DL-methionine, salt, magnesium oxide, lecithin, taurine, zinc sulfate, ferrous sulfate, Vitamin E supplement, manganese sulfate, niacin, calcium carbonate, Vitamin A supplement, copper sulfate, calcium pantothenate, thiamine mononitrate, riboflavin supplement, garlic oil, Vitamin B-12 supplement, pyridoxine hydrochloride, folic acid, Vitamin D-3 supplement, calcium iodate, biotin, menadione sodium bisulfite complex (source of vitamin K activity), sodium selenite.

Starch??! Yeah, that seems like a REALLY healthy main ingredient... oh, but look! Canola oil preserved with TBHQ! Charming. I know that some dogs do really well on this kind of food, but the ingredients make me throw up a little in my mouth. Typically - it's full of crap (I know, I know, sometimes this kind of thing is the only food a dog can handle) - and he LOVES it. He hated the pinto-bean-and-sweet-potato test food we had him on and lost half a pound.

1 bag and that's it. We're going back to RDD Herring once it's proven that it's not a food allergy. He loves that, too.

I'm pretty convinced that it's the vaccine that has caused this, but I'm going to do everything in my power to make sure that's what it is. Problem is, we don't know if the vaccine triggered another allergy. So we might as well put him on this diet and see if he does any better.

He also has a new and exciting pill to take: Cyclosporine. The vet said it was better than Prednisone, especially since he is so young. After a look at the side effects of Prednisone, I'm inclined to agree.

So that's where we are with Tierce: pills and Corn Pops. Hope it helps.

Why didn't I pick a stupid dog?

Me: Okay, go run around in the yard.

Tierce: Yay! What are you doing?

Me: Sitting with my laptop on the couch outside to make sure you don't try to get through the gate again.

Tierce: Spoilsport.

Me: Yup, just here to ruin your day.

Tierce: Fine. Think you could take off this cone and this stupid dog T-shirt?

Me: No, because then you'll lick and scratch yourself to death.

Tierce: But I'm ITCHY.

Me: I'd rather see you suffer than get a massive infection. The last vet bill was 183.46.

Tierce: Fine, be an autocratic dictator. I'm going to see how many things I can pee on before I run out of urine.

Me: That's what you're here for.

Tierce: Do-dee-doo-dee-do.

Me: Tierce... what are you doing?

Tierce: Sniffing around the back fence.

Me: Oh. Okay.

Tierce: *push*

Loose Fence Board: *creak*

Tierce: Wow, there's a whole other yard back there!

Me: Tierce! What are you up to?

Tierce: Sniffing around the fence!

Me: Okay, that's fine.

Tierce: *push*

Loose Fence Board: *CREAK*

Tierce: COOL!

Me: Tierce?

Tierce: WOW! There are other dogs that come in this yard!

Me: Where are you?

Other dogs (in the house): WHATTHEFUCKAREYOUDOINGINOURYARD

Tierce: Hey! I'm out here and you're in there! Sucks to be you, doesn't it?!

Other dogs: DEATHDEATHDEATHDEATHDEATHDEATH!

Me: How did you get in there?

Tierce: So... many... new... smells...

Me: TIERCE! FRONT!

Tierce: Can't front... sniffing!

Me: GETYOURASSOVERHEREKILLKILLKILL!

Tierce: Did you know these dogs had leftover steak last night? Why don't I get leftover steak?

Neighbor: Here puppy!

Tierce: Why do your dogs get steak and I don't?

Me: Thanks, can you just pass him through where this loose board is?

Tierce: I'm not done!

Me: Yes you are.

Neighbor: Here you go!

Me: Thanks so much. Sorry about that!

Neighbor: Oh, no problem.

Tierce: I was just exploring your yard and then you grabbed me and sent me back to prison. *I* have a problem!

Me: Oh, you have no idea. You know how to get by the gate and now I can't let you run around the yard because you'll find all the loose boards and get into other people's property!

Tierce: I was just conducting canine urban reconnaissance.

Me: Well, you can conduct another reconnaissance in the tub. You need a bath.

Tierce: *gasp*

Me: You know, this hurts me more than it hurts y- oh who am I kidding. You're going to be miserable and I'm going to enjoy every minute of it.

Tierce: You really are here just to ruin my day!

Me: Now I am. Want a rubber ducky?

A picture of the invalid

So, we got into the vet's - one that his breeder and his grand-breeder have used for years. I found her competent and flexible, which is pretty damn valuable in a vet. We think that having that will make driving to Mill Bay worth the time and expense.

1 antibiotic for the hole in his head - he got a shot, so I don't have to give this orally
2 antihistamines to help deal with his reaction: 1 once a day and 1, 2 pills 3x/day
1 bottle of ointment administered to a furiously wriggling dog: 2x/day
a hypoallergenic diet - pinto beans/sweet potato/peanut butter for taste, potato chips for snacks and/or Red Dog Deli's Herring/Veggie.

I still think it's the shot. He just wasn't tearing himself apart before this. The bad thing is, from what I've read, this could take months or years to resolve - or might not resolve itself at all. One thing is certain - Tierce is not going to get any more vaccinations. I'd rather do titers than put him through this again.

Now, I'm not totally against shots in general. However, I am seriously rethinking my attitude towards boosters after the initial puppy shots are given.

Update

Just an update so all of you people know that we've not disappeared. Tierce is definitely worse; he has a huge bare spot on his head now. We've been in contact with both Shassi's breeder and Tierce's for advice. His breeder is going to call her vet (we've been going through a very interesting time with vets of late) for an appointment; we are probably looking at Demodectic Mange as a result of the rabies vaccination on July 7th. However, again due to the aforemention interesting experience at the vet's, we have had no confirmation of that.

Okay, well... here goes. I was discussing the possibility with my mother and aunt of them taking Tierce into the vet's about 10 days ago. I work all week, and it's really hard to get any kind of vet on the weekends - they're so booked up. My aunt asked me if I would like her to make a call. I said yes.

She called me several hours later to let me know that she had up and taken Tierce to the vet. This was the same vet who gave him the 3 year, sub-dermal shot on July 7th. I was not happy. Not only did she not bother to ask me if there was any information I could give her (such as I wanted a mite scrape done and that Tierce had stepped on some glass and torn a toe pad right off - yes, it's been a wonderful last two weeks).

I was so not pleased. For those of you who are parents, imagine someone just randomly deciding to take your child to a walk-in clinic for a rash without bothering to check with you first - y'know, to see if the kid is allergic to something or just got the rash by something you already knew about.

The vet also had no idea why Tierce was limping and suggested that if it didn't fix itself, that they bring him back for x-rays.

So, $85 later, I was given all the information that Shassi's breeder had already given me and was no closer to an idea of why Tierce is trying to scratch his skin off. I also apparently have a vet who either can't see an obvious wound or can't be bothered to find it. Guess which way I'm voting. Not heading back to her again. The other vets who work there are competent, but are against feeding raw, etc. I don't want to spend my time arguing with them.

To my aunt's credit, she apologized. But we're still trying to fix my poor little puppy and I can't wait for an appointment at his breeder's vet.

A simple game of Fetch

Me: Here, Tierce! Get the ball!

Tierce: YAYYY! Throw it! Throwitthrowitthrowit!

Me: (toss)

Tierce: YAYYY! Bounce! Bounce! Bounce!

Me: Okay, get it!

Tierce: Bounce! Bounce! Pounce!

Me: Good boy! Now bring it back here!

Tierce: ...

Me: C'mon, bring it back here!

Tierce: but it's mine.

Me: Yes, bring it back so I can throw it again!

Tierce: Mmmm... no.

Me: Come on, give it here.

Tierce: Ooo, chase me!

Me: Give it!

Tierce: You caaaan't haaaave iiiiit...

Me: Drop it!

Tierce: Nyah! Nyah! Na Naaaaannnnnyyyyaaaahhhh!

Me: NO!

Tierce: Look, it's chewy!

Me: No, don't chew that; it's not meant for chewing!

Tierce: I've goooooottttt iiiiitt and yoooooooooouuuu caaaaaan't haaaaaavvvvveeee iiiiiiitttt.

Me: Okay, that's it! You drop that right now!

Tierce: Fine, geez.

Me: (picks ball up)

Tierce: You could throw that for me.

Me: No, you don't bring stuff back.

Tierce: Pleeeeeeaaaaaasssse?

Me: Forget it!

Tierce: But you have it and I want it! Pleeeeeaaaassse!

Me: Okay, fine, but you'll have to bring it back.

Tierce: Okay, fine sure... throwitthrowitthrowit!

Me: (toss)

Ball: Glunk

Me: Oh, shit.

Tierce: Yeah, that's what the ball landed in. And I'm going to GET it!

Me: No! Stay away from that! You lick me with that tongue!

Tierce: Don't worry, I eat poop all the time and you've never had a problem with it before.

Me: I'm going to forget that and therefore will refrain from sending you to the big Shiba playground in the sky.

Tierce: Yay, ball!

Me: No! Don't touch it!

Tierce: I've goooottt iiiiit and yoooooouuuu caaaaan't haaaaave iiiiiit!

Me: No!

Tierce: Catch me!

Me: NO!

Tierce: I've gggggooooooottttt iiiiii-

Me: I've got the hose.

Tierce: aaaaaaaannnnnnnddd yoooooooo-

Me: On POWERWASH

Tierce: caaaaaaaaannnnn'ttttt haaaaaaa-

Hose: ROAR

Tierce: Aaaaaaah!

Me: Good puppy!

Tierce: EWWWWW!

Me: Hah!

Tierce: (glare)

Me: There you go, a clean ball!

Tierce: I don't want to play now.

Me: Iiiii'vvvee goooooot iiiiiit and yoooooou caaaan't haaaaaave iiiiit

Tierce: (sulk)

Me: Fine. You're only spiting yourself.

Tierce: I'm going to play with this stick. Chew it, too.

Me: I don't care! It's a stick, not a $10 ball.

Tierce: Well, that's no fun. Give me that ball.

Me: No.

Tierce: Gimme the ball!

Me: No!

Tierce: Pleeeeeeaaaaassse!

Me: Well... (toss)

Tierce: YAYYYY!

Real Sonofanitch

Tierce continues to be plagued with itchiness and an uncontrollable urge to claw himself to pieces. We've combatted this as best we can while we try some different remedies.

Tierce's fashionable anti-scratch-until-you-hit-an-artery wear:


The T-shirt he's wearing is there because he's scratched his chest raw:

The first sign of problems - see the bare spots around the eyes and the goop in the right eye?


Then I noticed that the hair on his left ear was thinning...


The problem is that I don't know what's causing this. My aunt up and took him to the vet (I was not pleased, because she took him there without telling me and getting some VERY necessary information. However, she apologized, so I'm gonna let it go.) The vet found that he had a yeast infection, but that doesn't tell us anything because anything from allergies to mites could cause it... in fact, she basically gave us the same advice as Tierce's "grand-breeder" did - Nizoral anti-dandruff treatment (off-the-shelf, for-humans, anti-dandruff, anti-fungal shampoo). So, $85 later, we're still no closer to a cure.

I am still strongly leaning towards Tierce's 3 year rabies shot as a cause. He was scratching before, but it was only after the shot that he really started tearing at himself. Part of me hopes that it is and that we can cure it, because it still means that his immune system is genetically sound. If it turns out that he has allergies, he probably shouldn't be bred, as allergies are a symptom of a fucked-up immune system. However, if his immune system is merely stressed, he could still be a candidate as a sire.

Part of me really hopes so, as he has an outstanding temperament, his hips and eyes should clear with no problems and his knees are stable, so far. If he passes his tests, he would be a dog that could add a lot to the Shiba breed IMO (although he's only 16 months old, so too young to seriously think of that, yet). However, I would rather that he have a manageable allergy and not be bred than watch him go through this. I won't have any part of breeding a dog that could continue a problem that Shibas are notorious for.

My trainer advised me to take Tierce off his kibble, even though we switched to GO! Natural Grain Free, and this is what I think I'm going to try. I've been having uncomfortable thoughts about feeding Tierce what basically consists of protein/meal replacement bars all his life, even if they claim to give him all his daily needs' worth of nutrition. So, I'm going to try feeding him 'real food' and see where that takes us. I'm going to be doing a lot of research into the proper nutrition of real food, so I'll probably be posting regular updates on that stuff here.

Kibble is a fairly recent invention and dogs have survived for thousands of years on non-manufactured food. However, I'm not a fan of just feeding Tierce whatever we're eating and expecting him to do well on this. I think that this is a lot like veganism - wonderfully healthy when the right foods/supplements are eaten, but horribly unhealthy when approached carelessly. So we'll see.

Itchery, part II

Tierce has been to the vet, who took samples diagnosed him with a mild yeast infection on his chest. Her advice was to shampoo him with Nizoral (anti-dandruff, anti-fungal shampoo) every other day. That, coupled with changing his food to Go! Natural Grain Free, might do the trick. In a few weeks.

Oh, yeah... while we were down at the beach the day before yesterday, Tierce stepped on a piece of glass and sliced a chunk off one of his toe pads. Now he's hopping around like Pogo-dog (his hurt foot doesn't stop him from running around) and still trying to scratch his eyes.

This has just been the best week ever.

Sonofanitch

Tierce has been scratching... Scratching... SCRATCHING! It started when the serious heat of summer began, so we were thinking that this has something to do with the heat.

We took him to the vet for his annual checkup and he got his rabies shots. The vet said that the scratching was probably an allergy or the heat and to add some fish oil and coat boosters to his food.

However, Tierce has started to scratch at his eyes! Some of the hair has been worn away... I'm hoping that this is a food allergy and a switch to GO! Grain Free will accomplish some improvement. I'm hoping that it's not demodectic mange or some other real big nasty. However, only a trip back to the vet will tell for sure.

My trainer and Shassi's breeder say it could be a reaction to the 3 yr rabies shot and to just wait for his immune system to get back up and running. I'm still worried about him. We're going to try to get him in on Saturday, but it depends on whether I can get an appointment. Otherwise, I'll probably have to take some time off of work to haul his furry ass into the office.

Wish us luck... :(

Getting there

Me: Tierce!

Tierce: What?

Me: We're going for a RIDE!

Tierce: Is that my harness?

Me: Um, no...

Tierce: Liar!

Me: Tierce!

Tierce: I hate the harness.

Me: Don't run away from me!

Tierce: I'm not coming near you, crazy woman. You want to trap me inside those straps!

Me: Come here! You need the harness to keep you safely in the trailer!

Tierce: No.

Me: COME HERE.

Tierce: NO.

Me: Okay, fine. I don't have the harness.

Tierce: Okaaay... so, what do you wan-

Me: HA!

Tierce: Cheater!

Me: There you go. Oh, don't look so tragic.

Tierce: Hate the harness. Hate you. Hate everything.

Me: Okay, we have to get moving... your appointment is in half an hour.

Tierce: Gonna go outside. Eat worms. Die.

Me: Okay, into the trailer!

Tierce: Hate the trailer.

Me: Okay, you're snapped in... ready to go?

Tierce: Hate, hate, hate.

Me: Hmmm... where have I seen that before?

Tierce: Don't care.

Me: Okay, here we go!

Tierce: mmm... Wind in my face!

Me: *pant* Are you sure you haven't gained any weight in the last few months?

Tierce: With that crap you feed me? No, I haven't.

Me: *gasp* That 'crap' is premium dog food. You should be grateful. Puppies are starving in Japan.

Tierce: You get pizza.

Me: That's because I WORK for pizza. Like I'm working now!

Tierce: Sulk, sulk, sulk.

Me: Well, here we are!

Tierce: Don't care. Harness evil. Will to live draining.

Me: You know what? I remember the good old days when dogs used to pull people.

Tierce: How barbaric!

Me: I actually quite like the idea. Ready to see the nice vet?

Tierce: No. Hate the vet. Hate you.

Me: Okay, there you go. No more harness.

Tierce: YAY! Oh frabjous day! The sweetness of life doth verily sing in mine veins!

Me: Calm down.

Tierce: Not calming down. Not listening. For now is the time for JOY!

Me: I brought some hamburger. And cheese...

Tierce: Cheese?

Tierce the Shiba ambassador to veterinary clinics everywhere

Vet and staff: Oh, no, another Shiba!

Tierce: Doo-de-doody-doo... hey, cheese!

Me: Yeah, the vet's office is a WONDERFUL place, isn't it?

Staff: He's friendly?!

Vet: I don't have to muzzle him?!

Tierce: I get to eat hamburger!

Me: What kind of Shibas have come in here before?

Vet and Staff: Neurotic fear-biters.

Me: Oookaaay.....

Vet: Okay, now I'm going to check him out.

Tierce: What are you doing?

Vet: Listening to your heart.

Tierce: Oh. Mmm... this is the expensive stuff from the top fridge shelf, isn't it?

Me: Yes. Don't tell Mischa; he'd flip.

Tierce: Don't worry, I won't. Yum.

Vet: Aaaaand... check your temperature...

Tierce: Hey! That's a private area!

Me: Cheese!

Tierce: Yay!

Vet: Okay, can we check your teeth?

Me: Okay, Tierce, we're going to check your teeth!

Tierce: Do I get cheese?

Me: Absolutely; just show the nice doctor your pearly whites.

Vet: Looks really good, except for the hamburger stuck between them.

Tierce: I'm working on it, okay?

Vet: Time for a shot... can you hold him?

Tierce: What's she doin-

Me: Cheese!

Tierce: Yay!

Vet: Just a little pinch...

Tierce: What's that?

Me: Cheese!

Tierce: Yay!

Vet: Okay, he's good to go. This really is the friendliest, best behaved Shiba I've ever seen.

Me: Me too. It's the magic of animal food products.

OMG!WTF!BBQ!

Tierce SWAM all by himself today! He voluntarily let the water cover his back! Look at the evidence:

He defeated the giant stick:

AND... I found a pair of Shiba socks!

Oh, frabjous day...!

It's muggy in Nanaimo

Tierce: It's hot.

Me: Well we're at the lake. Go swimming.

Tierce: No.

Me: Why? You like splashing around in it.

Tierce: If it touches my back, it will swallow me up.

Me: It will not. See? I'm swimming.

Tierce: You're crazy. There's MONSTERS in there.

Me: Oh, don't be silly. Come on.

Tierce: No.

Me: Too bad; you're going to learn that water won't hurt you.

Tierce: NO.

Me: Okay, don't worry. I've got you.

Tierce: This is bad! Let me go!

Me: Ouch! Stop it!

Tierce: I'm just trying to get back to shore before the water gets me.

Me: It's not going to get you. Now isn't that nice and cool?

Tierce: I hate you.

Me: How's the water.

Tierce: Cool and refreshing and I still hate you.

Me: Okay, good boy! Now swim to shore!

Tierce: Hate, hate, hate.

Me: There, now aren't you cooler?

Tierce: Much, owing to your cold, cold heart.

Wherein self-interest meets self-pity to the great satisfaction of all concerned

Tierce: Ooo, let's go out for a walk!

Me: I don't want to.

Tierce: But it's sunny outside and there's things to smell!

Me: Leave me alone.

Tierce: ...

Tierce: I bet you want to. Look how bright it is out! And I want to see if the Labrador from down the street stopped by. Did you know that I can smell one part of urine in a million parts of-

Me: LEAVE ME ALONE! I HATE YOU! I HATE LIFE! EVERYTHING FUCKING SUCKS, SO LEAVE ME ALONE!

Tierce: ...

Tierce: [poke]

Me: I hate myself. I hate my life.

Tierce: I bet if you walk me, you'll feel better. Well, I'll feel better, but isn't that the same thing?

Me: I'm a loser.

Tierce: LOOK! There he goes! Let's go out so I can smell what he's been up to!

Me: *sniff*

Me: I hate you.

Tierce: But you love walks, right?

Me: I hate walking you. I hate everything about it.

Tierce: But I'm really cute, right?

Tierce: [unbelievably cute look with the flattened ears and the wagging tail and the big eyes]

Me: Awww- WAIT, I FEEL MISERABLE! GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY LIFE!

Tierce: I'm soooo cuuuutttteeee... and I wannagoforawalk. Walk me!

Me: I'm ugly and fat.

Tierce: Walk me and get thinner!

Me: I'm depressed.

Tierce: A brisk walk will make you happier!

Me: *sob*

Tierce: [poke]

Me: ...go awayyy...

Tierce: I will when you walk me.

Me: FINE.

Tierce: Yay!

Me: Shut up!

***

Tierce: And here's where that Labrador from down the street peed a half-hour ago. Whew; I don't think they're feeding her very well. That Lhasa apso mix next door, though, he got steak today. Why don't I get steak? And there's some mixed breed that came by. Doesn't smell like someone local, but-

Me: You know, it's nice and sunny out. I feel better.

Tierce: -better not come around my yard; I'll make him regret it. Ooooh, that unspayed cocker spaniel was here... she's something, for sure-

Me: I should have come out and gone for a walk earlier; maybe I would feel better if I got more sunlight.

Tierce: -oooh, a hamburger wrapper! There's not much on it, though, more's the pity. I think I smell that Springer from across the way, but she hasn't been here recently-

Me: You know, I'm really glad to have you, Tierce. You made me get out and enjoy the day.

Tierce: -that Golden Retriever two houses up. Smells like she doesn't have much time left. She must be, what. Fifteen? Sixteen? Oooh! A bug!

Me: Tierce?

Tierce: -got to get it, aaah, aaah, GOT YOU! Mmm... crunchy- ew, sour. Pah! Bleh!-

Me: TIERCE!

Tierce: What?

Me: I'm really glad to have you in my life.

Tierce: Of course you are.

Dogs, Showing, and Testicles

Me: I need your help to practice showing with Tierce.

Tierce: Ew.

Boyfriend: What am I doing?

Me: You're going to be the judge.

Boyfriend: Okay, what do I have to do?

Tierce: Let me go!

Me: You come up to Tierce and check his teeth.

Boyfriend: [Checks Tierce's teeth]

Tierce: I hate you now. You remember all the times we lay together on the couch, watching TV? That's all dead to me.

Me: Okay, now just run your hand down his back and stretch out his tail down his back legs. Good boy, Tierce! Gooood puppy!

Boyfriend: Okay, now what.

Tierce: Giving me more treats would be good.

Me: Now, just check his testicles.

Boyfriend: What?

Tierce: What?

Me: His testicles. Touch them to make sure he has both. That's what the judges do to make sure the dog has both of them.

Boyfriend: I'm not touching the dog's balls!

Tierce: Yeah! I mean, no! He's not touching my balls.

Me: Oh don't be so silly. All you have to do is-

Tierce: Hey, hands off my personal property!

Me: Good boy! -see?

Boyfriend: No.

Me: It doesn't mean anything. It's something that the judges do.

Tierce: I have just decided not to like the judges.

Boyfriend: Well, the judges can do it, then. I'm not touching the dog's balls.

Me: [angrily] Well then, forget it! It's not like I'm asking much!

Tierce: Well, if you ask me...

Boyfriend: I just don't want to do it!

Me: So sorry for casting aspersions on your sexual orientation. I was unaware that training a dog for show involved your man-pride!

Tierce: Yay, she let me go!

Boyfriend: [stony silence]

Me: [stony silence]

Tierce: I'm free! Who wants to play with this Kong? Or these rings? Or this ball?

Boyfriend: ...

Me: ...

Tierce: Well, um, sorry I asked. Can I go outside?

Me: *sigh* Sure.

Tierce: Yay!

Kayaking with Tierce

Today, Mischa and I took Tierce to First Lake, one of the Nanaimo lakes south of the city. We had never been there before and ended up driving longer than we thought. However, it was a fun outing.

Kayaking with Tierce had some problems to be solved. He's come a long way from the four-month-old puppy who I popped in the front hatch with ease:


In fact, it seems like the front hatch is now kind of cramping his style:


This could end up being a problem, because kayaks have this little issue concerning balance. It's really easy to tip one over and I can't have Tierce doing cartwheels while I'm paddling. At one point, Tierce was balancing on the top of the kayak, which ended up badly for him, as he tumbled into the water after slipping on the top.


So, we put him in Mischa's kayak, which has a wider front hatch.

Later, I tried to make a bed for him on the kayak, but it made the kayak too top heavy.


The interesting thing is that Tierce didn't overbalance the kayak when he was balancing on it himself so much as being in the "bed".

So, at this point, I think I have a few options:

- stick a non-slip surface on the kayak so that Tierce can balance on the top easily. However, for sea kayaking, this is not the safest idea.

- teach him to lie against me on the spray skirt or in the cockpit while I'm paddling. Not a lot of room there, plus, there's the danger that he and I could get stuck in the cockpit if we were to capsize.

- let Mischa take him in his kayak's hatch, since it's wider than mine

- figure out a way that he can sit and lie comfortably in the hatch without needing to wriggle, get up, turn around, fall out of the kayak, etc.

I've been searching on the Net for ideas, but haven't got very far. I'm going to see if there are some creative things I can do with waterproof foam padding.

The Vacuum

Tierce: What are you doing?

Me: Getting out the vacuum.

Tierce: It's evil.

Me: It is not evil; it's what stands in the way of your undercoat staging a coup of the entire house.

Tierce: It growls at me.

Me: *sigh* Sure. That's because it hates you.

Tierce: See? It's evil!

Me: Maybe it would be less evil if you stopped trying to bite it while I'm sucking all your hair out of the carpet.

Tierce: I keep trying to warn you about these things, but you never listen to me! It's bad, I tell you.

Me: Ahuh [turns on vacuum]

Vacuum: Growl.

Tierce: Growl.

Vacuum: Just you wait... one day I'll sneak up behind you and suck you right up!

Tierce: Just you try!

Me: Tierce! STOP biting the vacuum!

Tierce: But did you just hear what it said to me?

Me: No! Leave it!

Vacuum: Ha! Your human can't understand my plan to dominate the entire world! Mwahahaha!

Tierce: You'll never succeed! I'll fight you until my dying-

Me: NO! Stop it! You wanna go into the pen?

Tierce: But...

Me: Leave it ALONE.

Vacuum: And then, when I'm done with you, I'm going to suck up all the pizza, all the cheese and all the hamburger...

Tierce: NoooOOOooo!

Me: That's it! Pen!

Tierce: But-

Me: PEN!

Tierce: You don't under-

Me: Fine! [picks Tierce up and deposits him in the pen] And you can just stay there until the cleaning's done!

Vacuum: Mwahahaha...

Vacuum: Mwahahaha! Look at you! You're in the pen! And look at me! Free to cause mass destruction!

Tierce: You'll never get away with this!

Vacuum: Watch me.

Me: Is that a knock at the door?

Vacuum: Hehehe

Tierce: [jumps against pen and knocks the ends askew]

Tierce: Ha! I'm out!

Vacuum: So, we meet again!

Me: Guess there was no one at the door- aw, crap, how did you get out?

Tierce: I'm about to save you from certain death!

Me: We've had this discussion before. Get away from it!

Tierce: No, I can't in all conscience let it do its devil's work any longer!

Me: Good thing I'm pretty much done in here.

Vacuum: Now, know fear!

Tierce: Now, know pain!

Me: STOP IT! [turns off vacuum]

Tierce: I won't let it threaten this house any longer!

Vacuum: Glarg.

Tierce: ha HA! I killed it!

Me: I just turned it off.

Tierce: You should be more careful with these things; you could have been seriously hurt. Good thing I was here.

Me: Uh, yeah, sure.

Tierce: So, now what are we doing? How about a walk to celebrate my victory?

Me: No, I still want to vacuum the stairs and the bedroom.

Tierce: What?

Vacuum: Growl.

OMAIGAWD LOOK AT MY CUTE SHIBA!!!

No, you can't play.

Tierce: What are you doing?

Bravewolf: Nothing.

Tierce: But it looks like fun.

Mischa: Never mind.

Tierce: But you're playing. In the bed. Under the blankets.

Bravewolf: Yes. We are. Glad we've sorted that out. Now. Get. Out. Of. The. Bedroom.

Tierce: Can I play?

Bravewolf & Mischa: NO!

Tierce: I like to play under blankets.

Bravewolf & Mischa: NO!

Tierce: Well you don't have to be so mean about it.

Mischa: Apparently we do. Now get out of the bedroom before you get escorted out with some propelling force.

Tierce: Fine!

Tierce: ...

Mischa: AAAUUUGGH!

Tierce: Your foot is salty.

Bravewolf: GET OUUUUUT!

Tierce: But now you're PAYING ATTENTION TO ME! Why should I stop now?

Mischa: Apparently the philosophy of 'ignore him until he performs the correct behaviour' is not applicable to this case.

Bravewolf: Agreed.

Tierce: gets escorted out of the bedroom with some propelling force.